WHAT TYPE OF PASSENGER ARE YOU? (GUEST POST)

Hey guys, how are you today? Yesterday, my siblings and I had enough time to chat about so many things and I brought up this fun topic about the types of people you meet when travelling by road, air, or whatever means of transport. The following are the ones my siblings and I have noticed.

THE SLEEPERS

 These are the ones that would sleep in the bus from the beginning of the journey till they reach their bus stop. The potholes on the roads and how rough the driver drives is no business of theirs, neither is it reason enough for them to open their eyes at least for a while. Some of them even go as far as snoring so loud, and if luck no too shine for ya side, aah your shoulder becomes their very pillow.

THE PREACHERS

These are the people, mostly elderly men and women, who always think it wise to commit their journeys into the hands of the Creator. O boy, when the prayers start, everybody dey repent o. They all know that there is a possibility that an accident may occur or that armed robbers may attack. The preachers can do no harm as they suddenly become everyone’s friend and they gain a sort of respect and regard in the bus. However, some preachers would love to siiing and preeeach till the driver reaches the final destination. Some would even collect offerings, haba!  

LOAD CARRIERS

I pray for you reading this post, may you never sit close to a load carrier. These people can carry loads for Africa, chai! They wake up in the morning and swear to make the journey horrible for others. If not, how else would you explain someone that would carry everything (and I mean everything) in his or her house. Some people sha. They would not want to pay for a seat or two, so that whatever they are carrying can occupy the seat, no. They would just look for me or you and be like “bros no vex, make this s mall jerry can dey here abeg”, “please aunty, I fit keep this plantain for ya side?” The load carriers make their seat mates uncomfortable, and struggle to keep a smile up so that they would not receive any query about the inconvenience.

THE EATERS

Kai! I love food oh, but no be like this. In fact, I always control myself when I am outside my house, but that is not the case for these set of people who I would refer to as ‘the eaters’. Before the bus takes off, they would buy and eat as much as 500naira worth of Mama Nkechi’s beans and plantain or rice and ofe aku. When the driver hits the road, they would continue to buy and eat anything they see on the way. Bread, boiled eggs, banana and groundnut, snacks and of course lacasera to push it down. Even with all these things they buy and eat, it would not stop them from eating when the driver stops at a restaurant for passengers to eat. Nawa. These are still the same people who would mess the bus up with banana peels, gala wraps, egg shells, come on, nay a house?. They would also release serious farts (silent but destructive), and yes they are also the ones that would insist on their human rights for the driver to look for a bushy area so they can pee or defecate after eating the whole world. U go fear human rights… ‘Driver, I know my rights’. Lol.

FAMILY AWOOF

Ah! I love travelling oh. People really dey walai. These very wonderful people are people who feed on the sympathy they get from passengers. They know if they ask you ‘nicely’ to carry their children for them, you would oblige and so they would pay for a seat only and then carry all their children along. The first thing they do is to critically look for people who they know if approached, would not say no to them (even if it is a NO in their minds). Then they would plan, “Kemi would sit with that gentle brother in the front, Nkechi would sit with the reverend sister close to me, Zainab would sit with that responsible looking Hajiya besides the door, Junior would sit with that oyibo corper at the back, while baby would be with me”. My only advice for them sha, awoof dey run belle o.

SILENT WATCHERS / NOISE MAKERS

These sets of people remind me of words and opposite. The silent watchers are people who never say a word in the vehicle. The only time you get to hear them speak is if they make or receive a call. Most of them would listen to song after song, with the aid of an ear phone while others would just keep looking through the window, paying no attention to whatever is being said or done in the vehicle. The noise makers on the other hand are people who just want their voices to be heard. They would make friends with the driver and all the passengers in the bus, even before the bus moves and when the journey begins, they would chat about everything. Topics ranging from politics to fashion, education, football, everyday life. When they run out of what to discuss, they begin to gossip. They just would not keep shut. When there is obviously no other person interested in talking with them again, they will now face the driver and start telling the driver how to drive and make trouble with the driver when he decides to take the journey to the next level (speed).

So guys, these are the types of passengers I have come across. I’d love to know if you have noticed any other, and I’d also love to know what type of passenger you are. As for me, I am a silent watcher, but sometimes I can sleep for Africa. Lol!

Written by Jonah Sandra